Life...

Gotta love birthday's! 37 (techincally 38) years ago today, my parents welcomed their surprise child into the world and added a 4th to their quiver!  I have been told that they were done having children after my sister 5 years earlier, but God had other plans....  I love being a surprise child because on those days that I can't seem to grasp God's purpose for me, I can remember that He gave me life in the womb of a mother who's intention was to not have any more children.  He wanted me here! I can't argue with that! 

"For you have formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;"

I am so thankful for the love that I have experienced in life from family and friends over the years. I have seen God do amazing things in my life over these years.  It is hard to believe that I have completed 37 years of life and starting another one! As I reflect on the years that I have completed I can only see God's grace in my life.  I have been to some amazing places and met incredible people.  I have made choices that I am not proud of and I am thankful that God gave me the wisdom to make good ones as well.  There have been tears and laughter,  and heartbreaks and joys.  He has been with me all the way!

He is so good....

The best thing about my life is that He not only gave me physical life, but He has given me spriritual life.  A life that has been given only by Him!  He rescued me from darkness and adopted me into His family, for which I am not worthy! (Col 1:13, 14) How much more amazing can it get!  Oh how I long to live for Him each day to show Him how thankful I am for saving me! 

So, as I look forward to another year of adventures with my Savior and Father, I sit in awe of His grace and Sovereignity.  I am excited to see how He will change me as I seek His face daily and how He will use me to restore other's souls.  He has a purpose for my life - and I love that!

"...so that You will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; " Col 1:10

Reflection

I think this time of year is often about reflection...Reflection of the year, what God has done, the places He has taken us, the Joys we have experienced, and the challenges that He has brought us through.  I love the fact that each new day is just that - New...!  That just reminded me of a great line in Anne of Green Gables - "That is a great consolation, Ms. Stacy - tomorrow is always fresh -with no mistakes in it." 

I am working on a project right now during my vacation time that I can only do in bits and pieces.  I am taking old journals and typing them into my computer to store. It is a little weird writing something over again what was written years before, but is also enlightening...and depressing.

I have been typing from the winter of 2004.  In those early months of 2004, my sister-in-law's mother went home to be with the Lord, my twin neice and nephew turned 6, and I took a trip to Florida for vacation.  My struggle with spending time with the Lord, battling the flesh, and wondering about my purpose in life - was very evident.  It was depressing.  It is easy to look back and see the mistakes that I have made and become overwhelmed with the sense of failure- wondering if I have made any progress in this spiritual journey.  Thankfully, with God's grace, I am reminded that He has done a good work in me over the years and that He promises to continue to do a good work in my life.  Change always has to occur and I am looking forward to the new things that He will teach me today.  I want to keep my eyes and ears open for the Holy Spirit to whisper - and shout - what I need to learn. 

Maybe I will start putting some of my old journal selections in here - they have been insightful for me.  But for now - I must get ready to go to the chiropractor! 

Looking ahead with you...

Trusting...

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Prov. 3:5,6

I think I committed this verse to memory when I was a little girl.  I had the privilege of being raised in a home where Scripture was emphasized and obedience to God was strongly encouraged.  I am thankful for that upbringing, for without it, I wonder who I would be today.   This verse stood out to me this evening.  Of course it is highlighted and underlined in my Bible so it wasn't hard to miss!  Lately, I feel the Lord has been shouting in my heart the concepts of trusting Him and His perfect plan.  I do feel that this is lifelong lesson but it seems very relevant right now. 

As I mentioned in my first blog, I feel that I am at a cross roads right now, trying to figure out the next step that He has for me.  I am seeking His face to lead me to that next step.  I desire for my eyes and ears to be keenly aware of His light and voice so that I will not be led astray.  I had to laugh this morning though at God's sense of humor in trying to teach me to keep my heart still and wait on His timing.  In the past month, I had taken a bit of a risk with an area in my life, and just when I think that God is closing the door on an opportunity and I wrestle with thinking and feeling TRUTH,  He cracks the door back open ever so slightly!  I know God doesn't just play with our hearts...dangling something in front of us to just pull it away, for that is not the loving God that I know. It has felt that way before,believe me, I have been there!  But I truly think this is God reminding me that He loves me enough to tell me that I have to trust in His timing of life's events.  So, whether it is a relationship, a new job, a new ministry, a new home, a new child or new health, it is GOD who is writer of my life.  God has me at the very time and place that He wants me to be and at this time and in this place, I will find joy and peace in His goodness and love in my life!

Oh the journey that He has us on - the path that He has lit for me.  I wonder what exciting things He has for me tomorrow!

Broken hearts...healing hearts

A broken heart is an opportunity for God to demonstrate His healing touch...and only God can bring restoration.  These wounds are deep that our children are carrying around and I wonder how God can use me to bring a touch of His healing.  This was a day that a teen that I am working with just brought great sorrow to my heart - for him. I attempted to give his foster mother some hope for this young man, but she was struggling with finding it. She struggled with sharing with me any of his strengths, but could easily share his struggles. Granted she is living the nightmare that he is feeling on a daily basis and he takes out his self loathing on her - just to keep everyone at a distance and control who can come near.  He is afraid to love for fear of pain, he is so careful to protect himself.  I pray he comes to know the One who protects my heart....

I am so thankful I have come to know God as the Protector of my heart so that I can take risks with loving people.  There are times in life that it is harder than other times and I want to hoard my heart and feelings.  But God reminds me ever so gently that His love for me is greater than my fear.  We have all experienced pain in life and I have personally witnessed Him turning that pain into healing!

I love this song...it is all about what God is doing in my heart right now...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LcyQOLVS_U



I love how God holds us securly in His hands!