Reflection

I think this time of year is often about reflection...Reflection of the year, what God has done, the places He has taken us, the Joys we have experienced, and the challenges that He has brought us through.  I love the fact that each new day is just that - New...!  That just reminded me of a great line in Anne of Green Gables - "That is a great consolation, Ms. Stacy - tomorrow is always fresh -with no mistakes in it." 

I am working on a project right now during my vacation time that I can only do in bits and pieces.  I am taking old journals and typing them into my computer to store. It is a little weird writing something over again what was written years before, but is also enlightening...and depressing.

I have been typing from the winter of 2004.  In those early months of 2004, my sister-in-law's mother went home to be with the Lord, my twin neice and nephew turned 6, and I took a trip to Florida for vacation.  My struggle with spending time with the Lord, battling the flesh, and wondering about my purpose in life - was very evident.  It was depressing.  It is easy to look back and see the mistakes that I have made and become overwhelmed with the sense of failure- wondering if I have made any progress in this spiritual journey.  Thankfully, with God's grace, I am reminded that He has done a good work in me over the years and that He promises to continue to do a good work in my life.  Change always has to occur and I am looking forward to the new things that He will teach me today.  I want to keep my eyes and ears open for the Holy Spirit to whisper - and shout - what I need to learn. 

Maybe I will start putting some of my old journal selections in here - they have been insightful for me.  But for now - I must get ready to go to the chiropractor! 

Looking ahead with you...

Trusting...

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Prov. 3:5,6

I think I committed this verse to memory when I was a little girl.  I had the privilege of being raised in a home where Scripture was emphasized and obedience to God was strongly encouraged.  I am thankful for that upbringing, for without it, I wonder who I would be today.   This verse stood out to me this evening.  Of course it is highlighted and underlined in my Bible so it wasn't hard to miss!  Lately, I feel the Lord has been shouting in my heart the concepts of trusting Him and His perfect plan.  I do feel that this is lifelong lesson but it seems very relevant right now. 

As I mentioned in my first blog, I feel that I am at a cross roads right now, trying to figure out the next step that He has for me.  I am seeking His face to lead me to that next step.  I desire for my eyes and ears to be keenly aware of His light and voice so that I will not be led astray.  I had to laugh this morning though at God's sense of humor in trying to teach me to keep my heart still and wait on His timing.  In the past month, I had taken a bit of a risk with an area in my life, and just when I think that God is closing the door on an opportunity and I wrestle with thinking and feeling TRUTH,  He cracks the door back open ever so slightly!  I know God doesn't just play with our hearts...dangling something in front of us to just pull it away, for that is not the loving God that I know. It has felt that way before,believe me, I have been there!  But I truly think this is God reminding me that He loves me enough to tell me that I have to trust in His timing of life's events.  So, whether it is a relationship, a new job, a new ministry, a new home, a new child or new health, it is GOD who is writer of my life.  God has me at the very time and place that He wants me to be and at this time and in this place, I will find joy and peace in His goodness and love in my life!

Oh the journey that He has us on - the path that He has lit for me.  I wonder what exciting things He has for me tomorrow!

Broken hearts...healing hearts

A broken heart is an opportunity for God to demonstrate His healing touch...and only God can bring restoration.  These wounds are deep that our children are carrying around and I wonder how God can use me to bring a touch of His healing.  This was a day that a teen that I am working with just brought great sorrow to my heart - for him. I attempted to give his foster mother some hope for this young man, but she was struggling with finding it. She struggled with sharing with me any of his strengths, but could easily share his struggles. Granted she is living the nightmare that he is feeling on a daily basis and he takes out his self loathing on her - just to keep everyone at a distance and control who can come near.  He is afraid to love for fear of pain, he is so careful to protect himself.  I pray he comes to know the One who protects my heart....

I am so thankful I have come to know God as the Protector of my heart so that I can take risks with loving people.  There are times in life that it is harder than other times and I want to hoard my heart and feelings.  But God reminds me ever so gently that His love for me is greater than my fear.  We have all experienced pain in life and I have personally witnessed Him turning that pain into healing!

I love this song...it is all about what God is doing in my heart right now...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LcyQOLVS_U



I love how God holds us securly in His hands! 



Beginnings

I never really thought of myself as a blogger, but I thought that it would be fun to start sharing with others about what God is doing in my life. I feel that I am at such a unique place in my life right now - at a cross road wondering which direction God will have me go.  It truly feels like an adventure is waiting for me...I just don't know the details, but I am fully confident that God will be a great guide along the way! I am excited about the journey ahead and the people I will meet and places that I will see.

So, as far as today is concerned - my day was spent in the office writing child profiles.  If you don't know, a child profile is a comprehensive history of a child's journey through placement. We read all their records, collect medical and educational files, and try to talk to all kinds of people - and we get to do it all in 90 days!  It may seem like a long time, but when there are other reports and clients to see, it doesn't seem like a lot of time!  I am so far behind right now, but I feel that I want to accurately write these two teenage boy's histories.  Their stories just break my heart - all the junk that some kids are subjected to and all they have to endure in life just makes me sick to my stomach and brings tears to my eyes.  These boys were subjected to so much physical and emotional abuse by their adopted parents about 4 years ago.  They had been passed around home to home, then to stop in a home that claimed love but demonstrated something entirely different.  Thankfully, one of the boys got so tired of it that he ran away, allowing the boys to be removed from the home!  It is amazing though at how different both of the boys have processed their experiences.  One is a fighter - ready to prove to the world that he can do anything - he is unstoppable.  He will soon be 18 and is desperately looking for a family to call his own!  The other boy is almost 17 and  struggles with holding his head up - he feels worthless and unloved.  He longs to feel the love of a family that will help him stand strong in this life.  He breaks my heart the most - I want to just shout God's love to him and telll him how much he is loved by an Amazing Father!  If only he would open his heart to the true source of love and worth!  Yet, somehow, he can keep smiling - so will I... believing that I can be a shining light of God's love to this young man....